Abe turns 30!

Today is a special day! Today, my wonderful husband turns 30!

It was almost 10 years ago that we met and became practically instant best friends. He of course liked me more initially than I liked him, but I also wasn't in the most mature part of my life then. I can't begin to thank God enough for Abe and for the life we have together and the amazing son we have. There are days when its difficult to be both husband and wife and co-workers - but the majority of time I look around at my life and I can't even imagine it being better. 

I've been watching some of the footage/media about the Occupy Wall Street protests and I have to say, I just don't get it. I'm a more liberal Christian than most people realize, but I still don't get it. On their website there is a link to a site called "We are the 99%". The website shows people holding up hand written signs declaring why they are part of the 99% of the world's poorest people. I have to tell you, this website makes me so angry. 

One of the people complains, 

"Also, after over 5 years in the workforce, not counting my retail years as a teenager, I have yet to hold one full-time job, or earn more than $22k/year."

Another, 

"I dropped out of medical school 2 years ago because I decided to be a midwife, and you can be anything you want, right?  Now, I don’t think I can afford to get another master’s degree - I’ll be lucky to get my BSN.  I can’t move in with my parents because I’m afraid of my large, homophobic (and also unemployed) brother, so I’m not sure what I’ll do when I wear out my welcome at friends’ houses."

Another,

"We live within our means, we own our cars, yet cannot accumulate much savings.  We live responsibly, and consider ourselves “citizens” and not “consumers.”  We find it troubling that living simply can still accrue so much debt."

Another,

"This was supposed to be the “American dream”.  Turns out graduating with all A’s from an Ivy League university has earned me: $15,000 in student loan debt, of which I’ve managed to pay off $5,000, unemployment and underemployment, the basic medicare offered by my state (and I’m fortunate to even have that), stress, and depression.  And I’m one of the lucky ones who’s not on the verge of hunger or homelessness—as long as my family members or I don’t get seriously sick."

This is just a sample. There are folks on there that I genuinely have compassion for. A lot of people struggling with illness that can't afford medical care - I have a deep sense of compassion for that. However, I find that my situation in life is much the same as many of these people saying they are the "99%".  If I were to write something for this webpage it would look something like this:

Husband (30) and I (28) graduated college with $92K in combined student loans. After graduation my husband had a series of three different, yet equally horrible jobs in the span of a year never finding one that paid well but didn't require awful physical labor. Finally landed a good job. My husband is a pastor, so this means he's now working two jobs for a combined 70-80 hour work week. I work from home part time for $100 a week. We live in a horrible school district and are dreading the sacrifices we will make to afford a quality education for our son. 2/3rds of our income is dependent on the generosity of others. If people stop giving to charitable organizations, we will be forced put our son in expensive day care so I can get a full time job which may or may not actually cover the costs of day care. After student loan payments and every day expenses we are unable to save any significant amount of money. 

But here's the deal. Even after debt and living pay check to pay check and worrying about fundraising in this economy and what to do about education, health care, getting ahead, not falling behind - the deal is:

I am not the 99%. I live in a world where I have luxury at my fingertips. I think a lot of these people are forgetting that our struggles are struggles we have because we want too much. We struggle and fight to get more and more stuff and in the process we worry about what we look like compared to the millionaires and corporations in this country. But the deal is, we are comparing ourselves in the wrong direction. Instead of looking up the corporate ladder and saying, "These people are the problem! Why don't I have as much as them!" We ought to be realizing that we shouldn't be fighting for ourselves. If you want to look up at those with wealth we must first look in the mirror! We are not the 99%.

(By the way, I'm not sure they can win their battle without really harming the rest of the "war")

We have to stop judging by an American standard. You may be the 99% here. But that's a skewed vision! In American we need to quit just caring only about ourselves, on every level of income. We need to realize that the world is hurting much worse than we are and begin to be thankful for what we have, use it in a way that really matters, and quit being lazy consumers just want, want, wanting more. 

I am sure by now you're asking what this has to do with Abe turning 30! Thinking about how great my life is, how awesome my husband is and how blessed I am that he was born - made me think how grateful I am that we were not born in a place with high infant mortality, with an AIDS pandemic, with destitute poverty, with the chance that we could share this amazing life together. But I also know, the people in those places are worth just as much as we are. God loves them just as much. He doesn't want them to suffer, and he doesn't want us to forget about them because we are in pursuit of some long, lost "American dream".

The striking similarities between urban ministry and adoption.

The past few weeks I've been struggling a lot, thinking a lot about the future of our ministry here in Northside and thinking a ton (as usual) about our adoption process.

There are so many similarities between what we do in ministry here and adoption. Adoption is not the only way in which Christians are called to "defend the cause orphans" (Isaiah 1:17) As a matter of fact, I would go so far as to say adoption is actually a very small fraction of the way in which we are called to care for orphans. Often in the Bible  orphans are referred to as fatherless as opposed to simply using the word orphan. (What I'm about to say is not in any way meant to be insulting to single parents.) When I look around me, I see so many fatherless children. So many boys growing up with no male role model, just wandering the streets and trying to figure out what it means to be a man.

When I look at our world and the brokenness in it I'm left wondering what in the world can we do? I see broken homes, broken school systems, racism in our community, selfishness, greed, loneliness, violence...

And that's just on my street.

When I begin to ponder the HIV/AIDS and poverty crises happening in Africa and the famine currently in the Horn of Africa - it just all seems to much. I am currently reading There is No Me Without You by Melissa Fay Greene and the way in which she writes about the multi-faceted reasons for the HIV/AIDS crisis in Africa has begun to haunt me. The role that the Western world of wealth and greed has played in the deaths of so many people and the creation of millions of African orphans disgusts me.

I think the two are connected. I think that all poverty that we see in the world, be it in Africa or be it in Northside, all has the same root cause: selfishness. When I hear the arguments presented for how we ought to deal with poor both here and there I hear a lot of talk about fixing a "problem". I hear about how we need to correct people's behaviors, we need to teach people how to be more socially acceptable, we need to correct bad habits. And while that may sometimes be true - we won't ever help anyone out of poverty by looking down at them. We won't ever help the fatherless by simply attempting to correct their behavior. We won't ever be able to change a situation if we are only doing it for our good instead of for the good of the people who need help. For in the end, we must see that we all need help. We all need change.

First, we must learn to love each other. We have to learn to put others before ourselves. Only then can we step back and truly see how to help those throughout the world living in generational poverty, sickness, and loneliness. Adoption is part of that story. Adoption takes children with no home and gives them a home and a family. But it's only a tiny part. For the 1 child that is adopted there are millions more who aren't. And those millions, both here and there, need people to reach out in love and show them they are important, loved, and have purpose. We need to begin to share resources, to share relationship, to share ourselves with people around us who are hurting.

It's been a tough year for me as I'm quite discouraged often feeling like there are too few people who are truly committed to the cause of caring for the poor and fatherless. But I know that there is One who cares. And He is with us. I know there are many who feel the same, who feel alone. But we are not alone. Hallelujah.