One

Well, it's been one month waiting for our referral. One down, 7-13+ to go! I've been living in a constant state of what if. 

What if it's more like 18 months?

What if something goes wrong in our personal life and messes everything up?

What if I'm not cut out to wait this long?

And it's only been ONE month!

Well, I said at the beginning that I had goals to accomplish while waiting. So here's where we are on the goals:

1. Be Healthier!

Gotta say, this could have gone better. I've been going to Weight Watchers meetings since mid-summer and have only lost 5 pounds. I have only lost about a half a pound in this month waiting. I definitely am going to have to step it up and get healthier. I need to have more energy!

2. Be more organized!

This is going well! This month I rearranged the living room to put Z's toys along the one wall and not in the middle of the floor. This has giving us a lot more room to play and work and not feel so cramped. I also cleaned the desk and organized the paperwork! 

In addition to working on the living room I also worked on the kitchen and set up some new shelving that cleaned off the counters and left me with much more usable counter space!

The next project is to clear out the upstairs storage room and move my crafting stuff in there to create a true 4th bedroom upstairs. This will definitely be documented with pictures as it will be quite the transformation!

3. Get a better budget!

Still need to work on this. Made some good strides, but still am not where I'd like to be. We did pay off one student loan this month that we've been working on 6 years now!! But we also still ate out much more than we should have and spent too much on food. This is so linked to my problems with getting healthy! New habits coming soon!

We also had to make some repairs on the house again. Ah, the joys of a 100 year old home! At least the gutter won't be leaking all winter!

4. Making more time for family!

This one is going pretty well! We've got a lot of great ideas for moving the ministry forward and had some great talks with the director of Shepherd Community Center in Indy a few weeks ago that have given us a renewed vision for what we need to do to make this ministry sustainable. Sustainable ministry = more family time! So we're excited about that. Here's some pics for you to enjoy of our family time today at the Lebanon Rail Road!

Just getting going on the train!

Z looking out the window. He loves trains!

Mama, me and Z. T wouldn't come out until Abe coerced him too. He said trains are dangerous to walk on!

On the pumpkin farm!

Z the pumpkin face!

T the pumpkin face!

Sleeping boys!

Overall, I think I've made ok progress for the first month waiting. More progress to come. More time to pass. More waiting to do. Closer and closer to Ethiopia we creep. :-)

Abe turns 30!

Today is a special day! Today, my wonderful husband turns 30!

It was almost 10 years ago that we met and became practically instant best friends. He of course liked me more initially than I liked him, but I also wasn't in the most mature part of my life then. I can't begin to thank God enough for Abe and for the life we have together and the amazing son we have. There are days when its difficult to be both husband and wife and co-workers - but the majority of time I look around at my life and I can't even imagine it being better. 

I've been watching some of the footage/media about the Occupy Wall Street protests and I have to say, I just don't get it. I'm a more liberal Christian than most people realize, but I still don't get it. On their website there is a link to a site called "We are the 99%". The website shows people holding up hand written signs declaring why they are part of the 99% of the world's poorest people. I have to tell you, this website makes me so angry. 

One of the people complains, 

"Also, after over 5 years in the workforce, not counting my retail years as a teenager, I have yet to hold one full-time job, or earn more than $22k/year."

Another, 

"I dropped out of medical school 2 years ago because I decided to be a midwife, and you can be anything you want, right?  Now, I don’t think I can afford to get another master’s degree - I’ll be lucky to get my BSN.  I can’t move in with my parents because I’m afraid of my large, homophobic (and also unemployed) brother, so I’m not sure what I’ll do when I wear out my welcome at friends’ houses."

Another,

"We live within our means, we own our cars, yet cannot accumulate much savings.  We live responsibly, and consider ourselves “citizens” and not “consumers.”  We find it troubling that living simply can still accrue so much debt."

Another,

"This was supposed to be the “American dream”.  Turns out graduating with all A’s from an Ivy League university has earned me: $15,000 in student loan debt, of which I’ve managed to pay off $5,000, unemployment and underemployment, the basic medicare offered by my state (and I’m fortunate to even have that), stress, and depression.  And I’m one of the lucky ones who’s not on the verge of hunger or homelessness—as long as my family members or I don’t get seriously sick."

This is just a sample. There are folks on there that I genuinely have compassion for. A lot of people struggling with illness that can't afford medical care - I have a deep sense of compassion for that. However, I find that my situation in life is much the same as many of these people saying they are the "99%".  If I were to write something for this webpage it would look something like this:

Husband (30) and I (28) graduated college with $92K in combined student loans. After graduation my husband had a series of three different, yet equally horrible jobs in the span of a year never finding one that paid well but didn't require awful physical labor. Finally landed a good job. My husband is a pastor, so this means he's now working two jobs for a combined 70-80 hour work week. I work from home part time for $100 a week. We live in a horrible school district and are dreading the sacrifices we will make to afford a quality education for our son. 2/3rds of our income is dependent on the generosity of others. If people stop giving to charitable organizations, we will be forced put our son in expensive day care so I can get a full time job which may or may not actually cover the costs of day care. After student loan payments and every day expenses we are unable to save any significant amount of money. 

But here's the deal. Even after debt and living pay check to pay check and worrying about fundraising in this economy and what to do about education, health care, getting ahead, not falling behind - the deal is:

I am not the 99%. I live in a world where I have luxury at my fingertips. I think a lot of these people are forgetting that our struggles are struggles we have because we want too much. We struggle and fight to get more and more stuff and in the process we worry about what we look like compared to the millionaires and corporations in this country. But the deal is, we are comparing ourselves in the wrong direction. Instead of looking up the corporate ladder and saying, "These people are the problem! Why don't I have as much as them!" We ought to be realizing that we shouldn't be fighting for ourselves. If you want to look up at those with wealth we must first look in the mirror! We are not the 99%.

(By the way, I'm not sure they can win their battle without really harming the rest of the "war")

We have to stop judging by an American standard. You may be the 99% here. But that's a skewed vision! In American we need to quit just caring only about ourselves, on every level of income. We need to realize that the world is hurting much worse than we are and begin to be thankful for what we have, use it in a way that really matters, and quit being lazy consumers just want, want, wanting more. 

I am sure by now you're asking what this has to do with Abe turning 30! Thinking about how great my life is, how awesome my husband is and how blessed I am that he was born - made me think how grateful I am that we were not born in a place with high infant mortality, with an AIDS pandemic, with destitute poverty, with the chance that we could share this amazing life together. But I also know, the people in those places are worth just as much as we are. God loves them just as much. He doesn't want them to suffer, and he doesn't want us to forget about them because we are in pursuit of some long, lost "American dream".

How I love Fall.

I love fall.

During the summer things are a bit chaotic and there is no real schedule and things just don't flow as well. We seem to be in a constant state of motion as we plan and lead mission groups all summer long. I love having the groups come and participate in our mission and it's an amazing experience to partner with people from all over the country in ministry here, but by the end of summer - I'm ready for fall!

I love when the weather cools and the neighbors get nicer and the trees turn gorgeous colors. My house is no longer a stifling 90 degrees. It's awesome!

But fall is also a reminder that things are coming to a close. Our garden is starting to really fade and we've brought in most of the plants we hope to have bear out the winter indoors. Z's birthday has come and gone and now he's this busy busy two year old with a temper and a definitely mind of his own! No more baby, pure toddler loveliness now! I am ready for a new beginning in many areas of my life and I hope that the coming year will bring that.

I am excited to see what God has in store for our family and I'm hoping beyond hoping that a miracle will happen and by this time next year we will at least have a referral of our next beautiful baby (or toddler!). I'm super excited about what God is doing in our ministry. I know I often sound a bit burnt out and tired (which is often true) but God's hand is at work in our ministry and in our community and he is using us and the people around us to truly make an impact on our little part of the world. I can't wait to see where it all goes next!